A Devotion

Hide and Go Seek

Read: Matthew 7:7-12 from King James Version and then from The Message.

A common exchange from my childhood:

Me: Mom, I can't find -fill in the blank-.

Mom: Seek and ye shall find, dear. Seek and ye shall find.

My parents utilized a lot of sayings when I was growing up. They ranged anywhere from cute colloquialisms to Bible passages to things that they just made up (or at least I was convinced somehow that they made them up). Actually, this was one that I was sure she had made up until after I was an adult and the pastor preached a sermon on a passage that included these verses from Matthew. When the lectioner got up to read the scripture and got to the "seek and you will find" part, I nearly fell off the pew. All this time I thought it was just a smart Alick comeback from my mother and she was actually quoting scripture to me!!!

Yyesterday when one of my new co-workers was ending a particularly stressful week and ready to leave for her weekend off, my advice to her was to go home, pour a nice hot bath with plenty of bubbles, turn off the lights and light a few candles and just relax - try as hard to forget this place and get ready for a weekend of rest and relaxation. This morning I was fretting over writing my first devotion, even wondering how I would title it, because if I used the date then it would already be out of date when you friends in Australia read it (I know, silly thing to fret over, but I did.) So what did I do? I re-read this scripture in Matthew comfortable that it would hold something dear for my friends. I went in and poured myself a hot bath with scented oil and a few bubbles, said a prayer, and then set myself in the warmth and aroma. I closed my eyes and tried to relax and just let God speak to me, but all I could hear was my mother saying, "seek and ye shall find, dear. Seek and ye shall find."

Now I am convinced that God was telling me that. It is time to take some of my own advice and the advice of other dear friends who have been with me during a very stressful time in my life. It is time to make a decision and move forward - but it is scary. Once I make that decision, then I have to do something!!!! How do I get off dead center and get there? I take my own advice again. When my son was trying to make a decision about whether or not to accept a letter of intent to play college baseball, he came to me the night before the offer expired. We made a list of the pluses and minuses of this particular school and baseball program. No help. The list balanced perfectly when he added importance ratings to each item. I told him that there was only one thing he could do then. He should pray - but equally important, he should listen. Since he was asking God, and trusting God to guide him, he should trust that the answer that came to him was the answer that God wanted him to hear.

Most of you know that I am now at a crossroads again. My residency is almost over and I am at a point where I am waiting on God to lead me to my next place of ministry. I have several options: a chaplain that helps spiritually guide people through medical difficulties in a hospital, or one who helps people pass from this life into the hands of God in a hospice setting, or one who sees the active work of God's people in a missionary setting. It has been a struggle of decernment for the past 6 years since I entered seminary, and now, one year after my last major crossroad here I am again, so what should I do? Take my own advice, of course. I shoudl pray. But equally important, I should listen.

I had you read two different versions of the scripture today because the KJV was the quote my mother used and fit well with my story here. I simply love, however, the no-nonsense way that The Message can often cite a scripture passage, and this one was no different. The way that Eugene Peterson interpreted the Golden Rule (do unto others ...) is destined to become a classic: "Ask yourself what you want others to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. (vs. 12)," but verse 7 where he says, "just ask, this isn't a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in," spoke to me as loud as my mothers KJV. God isn't hiding the path from me. All I have to do is ask, listen, look for the open door and then pass through it.

Most dear and Holy God, grant that all of us can understand your desire to be with us and guide us through both our every day and mundane issues as well as our greatest of challenges. Give each one of us the ability to ask, seek and knock, but also give each of us the ability to listen to your answers, recognize what we have found, and pass through that open door . We ask this all in your Holy name. Amen.

Interview again

The interview with the hospice went well. It was just with HR, so I have to check to see if they will call me back for another interview.

I am officially on vacation now, so I will have to get some things done. I got my hair cut and colored yesterday, and I love what she did. I have to go get my eyes tested today, because I am tired of not being able to see. We'll have to see how that goes. Either bifocals or multi-focal contacts will be required. I just want to see again and I'm tired of dealing with readers.

Morning Coffee

I am having an interesting time with my caffine withdrawal. Now that the worst is past, I am finally doing the "right thing" by starting off my day with a "half-caff" cup of coffee and going decaffinated after that. I think that it is working well. I have also cut down my soft drinks. I am down to a decafinated soda with lunch and maybe one more in the afternoon. In the evenings I will either do de-caff coffee or tea. My coffee maker is a wonderful 1-cup pod brewer that makes a perfect cup of coffee.

I talked with my friend Mindy this morning, and she is excited that I am interviewing where she works. We have agreed to meet for lunch after my interview. I will update later in the day when I get done with the stuff.

Interview

I had my first interview today. It went well. I am one of the top (out of 18) candidates, so we can keep our fingers crossed. I think that the salary is "doable," but it won't be much better than what I am earning now. I would really like to get out over the "hump" so that I am not squeezing pennies between paychecks. We'll just have to see where the next interview goes.

Countdown to vacation

Wow, its getting close now. Counting down. Friday starts a 4-day weekend, and I am taking next week (until Saturday) off. I did my calendar for August and because of having to cover for others it's really crazy. I'll need the week's vacation just to get ready for it. Gonna have to stay on my toes, because otherwise I'll be showing up on days off and missing coverage!!

My first interview is tomorrow, so prayers are welcome.

Sunday

What a lovely day, even though I worked. It was busy, but not too stressful. I preached a sermon that is reminiscent of one I heard in seminary on the story of David dancing in the streets and making a fool out of himself, but all for the Glory of God. So the question became – how can anything done for the glory of God be wrong? (Well, I'm sure that there are some who will think of something) The point was that we should worship God in the form and fashion that makes us comfortable, not the form and fashion that is dictated to us. Is it any wonder why so many people are "spiritual" but not "religious" when mainstream religion tells them how they have to feel and act? A personal relationship with God is just that: Personal. It is my contention that if you need the beat of drums and to wave your hands in the air to feel the presence of God, so be it. If you need a quiet place with candles and a cross, so be it. I can worship in either, depending on my frame of mind at the moment. All that matters in worship is that we connect with God.

Miracles Happen

You are the God that performs Miracles; you display your power among the peoples. Psalm 77:14

Miracles happen. I know this, because I have witnessed it. I suppose that working in a hospital would give you a greater chance of witnessing something that defies all medical logic because even though the doctors are God's instruments of healing, they are also human. Humans make mistakes and can be wrong. I have seen, however, two cases of life support withdrawn where two days later there is a miraculous turn-around that absolutely stuns the medical teams. Based upon the tests that were run and the images of the brain, the heart or the lungs, the damage or disease was severe enough to be thought unable to sustain life, yet the patients wake up, become alert and able to interact with their surroundings.

Perhaps my biggest issue, however, is, "what do I do with this?" I know that I need to praise God with thanksgiving for a family's chance to spend more time with this particular patient. I need to praise God in the off chance that had their salvation not been secure, there is now time for that to happen. I need to praise God for all of the little and big blessings and surprises that are given to us. I need to thank God for reminding us that we are human with human failings and that only God is God.

Perhaps that last comment is the most important one. It seems like the perfect time for a miracle is at the time when we think that we have all the answers. The times when we declare that we have seen this a hundred or a thousand times before with similar symptoms and always the same outcome, that one in a hundred or thousand chance kicks in. I am still convinced that even the most routine medical procedures that correct something that would have likely killed the person back in the days of Jesus – the vaccines against debilitating childhood diseases, the antibiotics that cure the pneumonias and the antivirals that reverse the effects of the flu, the appendectomy – these can legitimately be classified as miracles.

Working with dying patients, however, is different. For someone who has run their course of treatments and have had no change or only gotten worse to the end that the medical team suggests that curative medicine is no longer appropriate and shifts their focus to keeping the patient comfortable to turn around and begin interacting with their environment are the stories that lead to devotions like this. The only possible explanation for the person's recovery is that it was the will of God. Medical science will not (because they cannot) take credit for it. After all, it was their recommendation to focus on comfort rather than push to work for a complete or partial recovery.

In case anyone is wondering, it is my witness that God DOES still perform miracles of the same magnitude as the healings that Jesus did over 2000 years ago. It is also my witness that for everyone who hopes and prays for a miracle, the largest majority of those will be disappointed. I can't begin to understand why. I only know that it is the will of God to be so.